This was literally the greatest show ever
WHAT WAS IT CALLED AGAIN OMFG I FORGOT IT’S AT THE TIP OF MY TONGUE, LIKE THE PROUD PARENTS RIGHT?!
Mona del Rey
IS THAT NEIL PATRICK HARRIS FANGIRLING BEHIND HIM
THAT IS NEIL PATRICK HARRIS FANGIRLING BEHIND HIM
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS IS FANGIRLING BEHIND HIM
I’m in a moment in my life where I feel just aweful. There is a cold slicing feeling in my chest that scares me because I’m single now and thats fine, but any time someone else likes me, sex is brought up and I particularly don’t like talking about it nor do I think of it when I think of future relationships.
It hurts the worst when you get that way, and I can say this because I am pretty sure you dont follow me on tumblr if you have one.
Ive spent my whole life being haunted by the fact Im a girl and everyone wants that from me. When I was a kid Id get bullied by other girls for looking masculine, As a teen I was raped and thought my virginity was gone so I acted impulsively and was with someone I wound up regretting, and every relationship Ive ever been in has revolved around it. I hate it, it hurts to be objectified, It hurts feeling like all Im good for is a little hole between my legs that leaves holes in my chest.
The guy I was sure I was going to marry finally threw me away. He spent four months talking me in to it starting from the second week of dating, and I finally gave in and spent the rest of our relationship hating myself for not holding true to what I had wanted.
And I once again remembered you.
When I was bullied you stuck up for me, you were kind and sweet and I know everything your going to say before you say it. You were always the illusive dream, I fell in love for no reason at first sight in seventh grade. You were my first kiss. You gave me this indescribable feeling just to be within eyesight of you. I got bullied for liking you and I didnt care, in fact I used to try to lure my fights near you so you could see how awesome I am at fighting.
I had always thought of you as someone I adored and that Id always love but It hurts so badly realizing your just like all the others too and Im going to be alone because guys just plain and simple dont care about anything but sex.
It leaves me broken. I want to vanish, to disappear and never be found again, I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. I hate the world I live in I hate that I’ll never amount to anything because Im a girl. My own religon tells me I can be killed for so many reasons that had you done the same thing youd be scott free.
I dont know how to feel and I won’t disappear, Ill face it and pretend your words dont hurt me. I’ll try to stand my ground but If I give in I can’t say that I love myself.